Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Making Friends

Tara Thinks...

Some people are blessed with the talent to make friends easily. I am blessed with falling into a great set of friends at a very young age, like Jr. High. Some people, like me, need to hold on to the friends we have because it's hard and scary to make new ones. I was pretty much attached at the hip to my girlfriends through high school and when I went to BYU it wasn't too bad because I roomed with one of them, and 2 more were down at Dixie and visited often. And even now I talk to most of them frequently. Then through, ahhh.... okay, seven years of college - you might think I would make some more friends. But I found it was much easier to get a boyfriend and hang with his friends than to click with a new girlfriend. Not to mention I continued to live with one or the other of my HS friends most of the time. I had 3 or 4 roommates that I really enjoyed and that I would have considered friends, whom I still exchange Christmas cards with at least. I became close to 3 fellow chem majors, ditto on the Christmas cards. And I had one random roommate that became one of my "girls," even letting me live with her family (husband, 2 kids) my last semester at BYU. She even came to my wedding. Maybe we don't talk as much as we'd like anymore, but I'm still staying with her when I take my fam to UT later this month.

So, it's a good thing I've stayed put in Mesa, where at least some of my girlfriends still live. And thank goodness for family! I never dreamed I'd be this close to my sister, or have such great sis-in-laws. But when Aaron's job moved us to St. Petersburg, FL - I was pretty worried. Luckily I had Alden by then and he takes up a ton of time naturally. And long-distance calls are the same as local nowadays. So I would have been okay. But instead of just okay, I managed to find my own twin, practically - waiting there in our little branch in FL. I can't imagine what life would have been like there without Shannon. And even though we've been back in Mesa for like 7 months now, I still talk to Shannon more than anyone else, even Aaron if you only count phone time. If the Johnsons would just move here, life would be complete!

But here I am, at 30, trying to make new friends. And I swear, it's worse than Jr. High - should I invite this person for a playdate? Is it too soon to call them? Do you think they had a good time? Will we be able to find anyone who might go out with Aaron & I? I do have a few pretty good friends, but I worry that they get sick of me. I miss Shannon who would just know we were hanging out every day.

That's why I like this blogging thing. I know some people who have blogs. And they have links to some of their friends who have blogs. And they have friends too - you know how it goes. And sometimes when my boys are sleeping, when I am supposed to be doing laundry or dishes or something, I check out blogs. And some of these people are really cool! Almost all of them have little kids and deal with the same things I do. It's like having friends without one party knowing it. Some blogs I have been reading more regularly. Yesterday I came across this girl (or is it a lady? or a woman?) - a Mom, who sounded exactly like me. I read through her recent posts and I think she is great. I want to be her friend. I wish we could hang out. Too bad she lives somewhere far away. Plus she seems to have tons of blogging friends, gets like 5 or 6 comments on every post, and probably has tons of friends in real life too. Too good for the likes of me. So the question is - should I contact this random girl or not?

9 comments:

shannon said...

ok, i was practically crying until the last paragraph, and now i am like totally jealous.

but i think you should go for it! comment on some of her posts; introduce yourself. it's lowering to admit, but i just commented on one of my sister's high school friend's blog (it doesn't get much more desperate than that).

what's her blog? if she's so great, maybe i want to be friends with her too... (and i can always vouch for how cool you are!)

The Fegers: said...

Friends are always hard to make. Good ones I mean. I have friends from BYU and Steven's friends.
Comment away on that blog:) I should have hung out more w/ Branch friends but I have an anti-social husband and we were both so stressed out w/ school. Only now can I blog. And I'm on my lunch break - not on a lunch date w/ a girlfriend or friends from work!

Oh, and tell me where you got your templates. I like that yours are wide!
tiffanyfeger@yahoo.com

Adam & Marcy said...

Tara,

I'd like to be your friend :). If Shannon loves you so much--and I can see you're cool because I like your blog--you're a friend worth having!!!

We have recently started having friends over for dinner. The first family we had over, my husband knew them from his mission, the second family's husband was Adam's helicopter instructor. So they were all total strangers to me. And I wasn't really looking forward to spending my nice, quiet evenings entertaining strangers. But it turned out really well. Shannon's good at having people over for dinners, I think, but I'm new at it.

These women I met were mothers like me! They read great books like me and introduced me to some new authors! They didn't care that I just had time to throw a casserole in the oven. I'm really glad I made those friends, and we're going to try to have a family over once a week. When I was complaining to my mom about how awkward it can feel at first, she said that having people over and eating with them is a great skill to have.

And it's fun! Sometimes all it takes is a little invitation to make some new friends.

shannon said...

awesome picture!

Anonymous said...

Tare Bear,
Where was I when you got married? That would have been such a fun picture to be in...but even more fun to be at the wedding. Remind me of when it was so I can figure out why I wasn't there.

-Crazy Molly

tarable said...

Marcy - I would love to make our friendship official by actually meeting you! We will be up in UT all this next week and would love to get together and play. Ask Shannon for my cell number.
Molly - We were married Aug 10, 2001. Not sure where you were but sure missed you! And still do! I hear you're moving back into town. When will you be there? We are thinking of going back up to Utah in July sometime?

shannon said...

Tara,

I just made a post called
Most Evocative Moments in Literature, and I wanted you to know that the last time I cried like Marilla cries is when I was driving home from the airport after my trip to utah last summer (you know, the trip where I left florida for a couple weeks and you left forever!!).

Lindsay said...

Tara, I know you say you have a harder time making friends, but I honestly have no idea why. You are (quite obviously) one of the greatest friends ever. To know you is to love you, so . . . as I see it you just have to let people get to know you. Contact the "random girl" and anyone else you think you'd like to be friends with. Lucky them!

janee said...

You are a great friend - such a better one than me! You are great at keepng in touch with everybody! I admire you for that and am so lucky to count you one of my friends.