Sunday, May 13, 2007

My Own Thoughts on Women's Conference

I have been wanting to write down some of my own thoughts from BYU Women’s Conference. As Lindsay and I were choosing classes I thought about what I wanted to get out of this experience and what I would like to work on in my own life. At the risk of sharing some of my private thoughts, I have been pondering my marriage lately. Aaron and I have a pretty good marriage; I don’t think either of us has any serious complaints. But I have been feeling strongly lately about strengthening this pretty good marriage and nurturing it into more of the eternal relationship I know it can become. We are cruising happily along without any serious hardships in life but we will probably run into major trials someday; that is why we are here on earth. When the hard times come, I know we can get through them together – but if we are more tightly knit to each other and the Lord – it will be much easier to endure and learn from these trials.

I attended a conference session entitled Establishing and Building Eternal Marriages, taught by Allison and David Warner. Never having heard of these people, I was very impressed with the insights they gave on this most sacred relationship. I wish I had taken notes, or that the transcript was available, but I certainly left with a renewed vow to build up my marriage. This couple seemed very tender to each other and held each other’s needs above all others. I have a hard time with this because I am usually so selfish, and because I get so caught up with the kids and their more immediate, pressing needs. Even in the conference sessions I attended on other subjects, I kept my spiritual ears open to applications for my marriage and of course there were many.

Having decided to strengthen my union, there is no question of, “What should I do?” I can list dozens of things I can work on and ways to improve. It just takes my own effort to begin. So for now I will work on being more selfless and trying to connect more with Aaron. Sometimes it all starts with putting my book down or stepping away from the computer when he is talking to me, rather than only listening half way. By small and simple things…


Mike and Adrianne said...

I'm glad you got to go to Women's Conference. I had the opportunity to go to a few classes for Education week. I also got to go to a CES training thing that was like Education Week only for CES workers. I loved both experiences and hope to some day go to Women's Conference too. It sounds like you had a great time.

Lindsay said...

Great insights, Tara. I think all of us can relate to your feelings about your marriage. I have so much to work on!

Recently a girl in our ward, married about a year, bore her testimony in Relief Society and sobbed, "Before I got married, I thought I was so easy to live with!" I used to think the same thing. Now I know better. And isn't that what life is all about? Our relationships challenge us and show us out weaknesses. And, at least my case, our spouses are more honest with us than anyone else in the whole wide world. They help us see ourselves for who we really are.

The good news: We don't have to be perfect. I used to think that those elderly couples who were still so in love must have had the good fortune of being perfect, and being perfect for each other. Now I know, after talking with several of them, that they're only perfect at forgiving each other.