Monday, July 19, 2010

Old Friends & New

Since my family settled into a new house about four months ago, I've thought a lot about friends. Obviously, everyone needs to make new friends when they're in a new area, new church, new school, etc. I worried about my kindergartner, whom we unceremoniously pulled out & stuck in a new school. But he's very social & had a new posse within a week. My husband isn't worried about having lots of new friends, but I am. I've tried hard to be social, attend events, talk to people, and push out of my comfort zone. And it's worked. I've found many women in my new area who are friendly, kind, fun, and interesting. But I still don't know if they want to be friend-friends with me.

I spent a few hours this morning with one of my oldest friends, whom I've know since preschool, and probably before. We were very close through high school, but different colleges, marriage, moves, and just... life have taken us to the point that we only spend time together once or twice a year, despite living in the same city. I still love her, and when we get together I enjoy it immensely and wonder why we don't do it more often. I know she would be there for me in a crisis - she's done it before. But, she has new friends. Like, tons of them. Friends that live close to her, and have kids that are friends with hers, and that go on girls trips, couples vacations, and babysitting exchanges with each other. And we are not that kind of friends anymore.

When my family lived in Florida for a year, the best part was meeting the Johnsons. Shannon & I clicked immediately and she was the kind of friend that was willing to hang out with me two, or three, or four, or more days a week. That's the kind of friend I like. The kind of friend I want to make now. Well, maybe not hanging out sooo many days of the week. That's a little harder to do with older kids. But someone who doesn't think I'm a stalker-freak if I call every day.

But honestly, I think I'd be happy with some friends who like to actually spend time together. Not just trade babysitting, or sit next to each other sometimes at church events, but who will go with me to a girls night out, or shopping, or to lunch, or spend time at my house while we talk & ignore our kids until the screaming gets too loud to hear each other.

I went to a blogger meet up on Saturday night, and despite the organizer being disappointed by the low turn-out, I had a great time. I convinced Sue to go with me, mostly through threats & begging, and was so glad to hang out with her for an evening, as well as meeting some other interesting women. I'm hoping for more of these events in the future, as well as more friendship connections in my new area, but in the meantime, I'm going to spend a lot of time talking to my old girlfriends, who are as valuable as gold, but mostly live in the wrong state.


Candice said...

I really liked your friends post. I feel the same way, having moved out here and leaving so many great friends in my old ward. I miss hanging out with you too! I've been lonelier out here and even though we are only like 10 minutes apart, I feel like we are more like 30 minutes apart. Let's hang out more!